Just a Banana Smoothie? No Way!
It doesn't look so pretty, but my goodness this was the best tasting smoothie I have had in forever!
A simple blend of frozen blueberries, a frozen banana, baby spinach, cinnamon and almond milk. Simple right?
And you would probably say that there is absolutely nothing special about the ingredients at all.
However, let me tell you, that is WRONG.
This smoothie was super special for me and let me tell you why. It would have to be over 5 years since I have eaten a banana.... crazy, right?
I have been 'too scared' and 'too afraid' to eat them because of the higher levels of sugars in them (and they're natural sugars we are talking about) when compared to other foods, and the weight it may have caused me to put on.
This has been my life for soooo many years. Avoiding foods which have been labelled as 'bad foods' (even if they are natural, wholefoods) because of the negative effect they may have on that number on the scale which was a driver for me in so many ways.
But where does this all stem from?
To be honest, there is no simple answer. What I do know is that this intense, health journey that I have been on for the past 3 months to control and heal my auto-immune condition has opened my eyes in many ways.
I have recognised that when I first made the decision to start dieting, back when I was 16 years old (and without revealing my 'old' age, that is over 20 years ago) I lost the ability to trust my body and to read my body cues. Instead, I made decisions based on society, habits, short-term satisfaction and a lack of trust in myself around food.
In my current healing journey, where I am eating a raw, vegan diet to allow my body to repair and re-set, the deep emotional component of this journey has been the most rewarding.
It is such an amazing feeling to be able to have more of an understanding about what food my body is asking for and actually listening to its clues and feeding it what it wants. To be able to establish a 'healthy' relationship with food has always been a dream and it feels so good to know that I am achieving this.
It's not about whether food is 'good' or 'bad', it's about recognising how your body is talking to you and the reasoning behind it.
I am far from planning a night out to an Italian restaurant and ordering a bowl of pasta for dinner followed by a tiramisu for dessert, but I have come a really long way in getting more in tune with my body. And for so many of us, it is something I think we have all lost along the way.
Having an auto-immune condition means that in the long-term I will always need to be mindful of the foods that I am eating and the way it affects my condition. But, the difference is I AM now in control of these decisions rather than being dictated by society, a number on the scale or a list of "good" or "bad" foods.